It's My Coffin
by Macabre Puppet
Summary: [Slight VincentTifa] Vincent's birthday and the aftermath.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

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**  
It's My Coffin. **

"Hey, hey… Quiet now, everyone… Here he comes!" Tifa whispered as the rest of the team – Cloud, Cait Sith, Cid, Yuffie, Barret and Nanaki – tried desperately to find a hiding place.

Not an easy feat, as hiding a giant, a dog creature, a robot, a hyper ninja, a hot tempered pilot and a man with unbelievably spiky hair, was not, to say the least, simple. At all. Especially in this rather bare living room, which consisted of about, two chairs. And a dead plant. Not very helpful at all.

It was currently October 13, which happened to be Vincent Valentine's birthday, which also happened to be the reason why they were scrambling over the not-so-many pieces of furniture to find a hiding place. Yes, you guessed it! They, or more specifically, Tifa and Yuffie, had come up with the wonderful plan of surprising Vincent on his birthday and bringing him out for some fun. Fun. Like the man even knew the meaning of the word.

_It's been over a year since we last saw him. I wonder if he recognizes us? _Tifa thought to herself as the man walked in, his signature cape billowing around him as he entered the room. He paused for a moment, looking around him. Tifa held in her breath, and saw that the others were doing the same.

…_Strange. Is there another presence? _He thought to himself. No one had come to his mansion since the day Cloud and his team mates found him, and there was no reason for anyone to be here. He shook off the thought. He must be imagining things.

He turned around to hang his cloak on a hanger. Tifa and the others released their breath, a little too sharply though. _Damn, hope he didn't hear that… _Cid thought as he stared at the now uncloaked man. But he had, and his blood red eyes narrowed in suspicion as he advanced forward. Tifa nodded at the others. It was time.

"SURPRIIIIISE!"

The lights came on, and Vincent jerked backwards. He was not used to the bright lights of the mansion, and when all the lights are on? It can get REALLY bright. Slowly his eyes adjusted to the light and he looked up…

To a complete stranger, what met his eyes would have looked absolutely ridiculous. Here, standing before him, was what had to be the most absurd looking bunch ever. On his left was a giant robot, followed by a huge, brown man. How they managed to conceal themselves was simply incredible. Then came a short, young ninja and a taller martial artist. Not too bad, besides the fact that the ninja had a huge plastic… Thing which was sticking out of her arm. It appeared to be a sort of arm guard, but he wasn't sure. Oh, that wasn't all. There was a blond young man, whose hair could be used for a hair gel advertisement, a roguish looking man and a dog. Fine, dog-creature-thing, whatever. They certainly did make a comical group.

Vincent recognized them as the group which had woken him up from his sleep about a year back. _What are they doing HERE? _He decided to ask, as they stood there beaming at him, as though he had just accomplished some great deed.

"…What are you doing here?" Cold, unfriendly, aloof. Maybe they would take the hint. He did not like company.

The martial artist stepped forward. Tifa, he remembered.

"Don't you remember?" He shook his head slowly. _Remember? Remember…what? _He stared at them, waiting for an answer.

"God damn, Vinnie boy, how could you forget your own fucking birthday?" _Ah yes, Cid. Ever the colourful one. Wait a minute. Did he say "birthday"?_

"…My birthday…?" He asked dumbly, staring at the group. They stared at him in shock. Could he really have forgotten his own birthday? Vincent's expression, though, was priceless, and Yuffie could hardly resist the urge to laugh. Which she did, very loudly. Soon, everyone burst out laughing.

"Yes, silly, it's your birthday! Let's go celebrate!" Yuffie exclaimed, bouncing up and down in excitement when the laughter died down.This was agreed by the other team members, who were smiling at him, waiting for a response. Which never came. Vincent hadn't celebrated birthdays for a while, and he certainly was not planning on starting to again. _Why would they want to celebrate it with a monster anyway? _

Vincent just ignored them and walked past. "HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, BUSTER!" Yuffie shrieked as she bounded after him. He glanced at her, and then back at the rest of the group, who resembled goldfishes with their wide eyed, open mouthed expressions. He stared down at the fuming ninja.

"I do not celebrate birthdays."

He turned to leave. He could hear the group chattering behind about what they were going to do now, and what they should do about him, yadayadayada, as he descended down the stairs. He wanted to rest. It had been a long day, plagued with horrible memories and crazy thoughts, as usual. What's new in Vincent-land, huh?

Soon, the chattering died down and he assumed that they all had left. _Thank God._ He settled down in his "bed", the oh-so-comfortable coffin which had been his refuge for the past 30 or so years. Ah, comfort. It wasn't the best bed in the world, but Vincent was used to it and actually quite liked it, despite the terrible past the coffin held.

Just as he closed his eyes, a sudden movement caught his eye. _An intruder. _

"Come out," he ordered, his voice silent and deadly. He felt for his gun. _Good. _One can never be too careful. Who knew what lurked in the shadows?

The dark figure stepped forward and he saw the distinct shape of a woman. _Is it…? _

"…Vincent." It was. The figure revealed herself – Tifa Lockheart, the ever caring one. She simply could not leave him alone, could she? He should have known that she would follow him down. After all, she never lets someone go off so easily, and was always so concerned about others, never thinking about herself.

He glared at her. "And what, may I ask, are you doing here?"

Tifa sighed. She didn't really know what she WAS doing. It was also an immediate reaction to follow someone to make sure they were alright. That was how she was. She looked at her feet, unsure of what to say.

"Vincent, I'm sorry that we sneaked in and tried to surprise you, knowing full well that you may not like it, but we just wanted to make you, well, we thought it might make you happy." She looked up. He was looking at her. "I mean, you're always by yourself, and today's your birthday… And birthdays should not be spent alone. I know you're still feeling depressed and all about what happened in the past…" She was pushing her luck here. "But that was all in the past... It's not healthy to dwell on it too much. We're your friends, Vincent. We want to spend time with you, celebrate with you. Couldn't you at least grant us that?" Tifa smiled a little.

_  
Friends. That's… Interesting. Well, no matter, I'm tired and no, I do not want to go out and celebrate. _

"I wish to rest. Please leave now." And that was the end of the matter. Or so he thought. Soon, he felt movement at the bottom and sides of the coffin also known as Vincent's bed. He opened his eyes and saw Tifa's wine coloured eyes looking back at him. Her heart thumped. This was the most daring thing she has ever done, especially since this was Vincent Valentine she was talking about.

His eyes widened in horror as she lifted a leg and started to push herself into the coffin. Before he could open his mouth to speak, he felt a pang of pain as she toppled ONTO him. "Whoops," she grinned, and rolled off him, to his side. Well, sort of to his side. The coffin wasn't very big. It was, in fact, rather small for him even, and with this extra person… Rather cramp, he thought. _And what in heavens name was Tifa thinking?_

"Tifa. What are you doing?" He muttered, more than a little annoyed. His little coffin, his private place, HIS space, was now being intruded by someone else. Of the opposite sex too. In this very compromising position. He was NOT amused. He was being SQUISHED to one side of the coffin and it was very, extremely uncomfortable.

"Well. I'm lying in your coffin, with you. I've always wanted to lay down in it. Not very comfortable, it seems…" She acted as though nothing had happened. He turned his head towards her. Tried to, anyway. It's not easy when you have as much space as a sardine in those tins. Which was not very much, not very much at all. He tried to stay as polite as possible.

"Perhaps… You could… Get off!" That came out a tad too harsh. What can you expect from someone, who absolutely hates human contact, and who just had a person – of the opposite sex, no less – casually jump into his bed? You wouldn't be too pleased, even if that person was a knockout.

"Since you won't come with me, I'll just stay here with you. Like I said, I hate to see someone spend his birthday alone."

He gave her a look.

"I… See. And with the vast amount of coffins around, why mine?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I felt like it. Besides, it was warmer than the others, and who knows what I might find in the others," She laughed a little. "Didn't you say you were tired?"

He was bewildered, though he didn't show it. In a situation like this, with such close contact, she could still ask him such a thing? Sure, he wanted to sleep, but not with her inside too! _It doesn't look like she'll budge though, no matter what I do. Even if I use force, she'll try again, and I don't hurt women. _He sighed. _I suppose I'll just have to deal with it. Maybe she'll get out after a while. But then again, I'm getting used to this… _

She smiled as he gave in. She wondered if the others were having fun. They had decided that since the "vampire guy", as he was lovingly called by some, wanted to be antisocial and withdrawn, the six of them would go out by themselves to have some fun. Tifa, being Tifa, insisted on staying behind. "Maybe I could talk some sense into him, you know?" was what she had said. They thought it was useless, he wouldn't open up to anyone, they said. But she had to try. And, hah, look at him now. She never thought this method of forcing herself in would work, but it did. She cheered inwardly. _One point to Tifa Lockheart! _

He saw her smile and resisted the urge to smile himself. He would humour her for the night. Just before he dozed off, as he really was very tired, he mumbled, "You've obviously been around Yuffie too much."

She grinned. She certainly had. _Never would have done this otherwise…Oh. I haven't wished Vincent a happy birthday yet… _

Softly she whispered, "Happy birthday, Vincent…"

And for the first time in a very long while, Vincent smiled.

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A/N: I apologise if the characters are OOC. Please review and let me know what you think. Should I continue it or leave it as a oneshot? ;P I hope the writing isn't too bad. And the ending is totally retarded, I know. 


	2. Chapter 2

**It's My Coffin Chapter 2**

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"Uggh… My head…" Cloud mumbled, rubbing his head. He was slumped between a wall and a sofa, and it was not very comfortable at all. He attempted to sit up straight, but a sharp jolt of pain changed his mind. Looking around as far as he could without injuring further his already aching neck, he noticed a couple of other people on the floor, which he identified as his fellow teammates. He slumped back down further, wanting to rest to get rid of his headache, but was disturbed again when a soft patter of footsteps approached him. 

"Hangover, Cloud?" The familiar voice of Nanaki asked, chuckling slightly. Nanaki looked around. Everyone seemed pretty wasted. After the fiasco with Vincent the night before, they had decided to go partying, well, actually Yuffie and Cid had decided to go partying, and everyone else just followed. Everyone, minus Tifa Lockhart, who had followed Vincent to try and talk some sense into him, and of course, Vincent Valentine. They had all gone to one of those hip new bars downtown, and since they were recognised as the "heroes who had saved the world", all the drinks they had were on the house. Which was the reason why the majority of the team was scattered around an unfamiliar room in various uncomfortable positions.

There was Yuffie, half draped across the sofa, the other half on the floor and one leg on the table. And Cid was lying head first on the coffee table, in a half-sitting, half-lying down position, with Cait Sith resting on his back. Barret was all passed out in the middle of the room, taking up quite a lot of space, and then there was Cloud. As for Nanaki, he was the only one with enough self-control and sense not to drink that much, and the only one in the team that did not become drunk the other night. Thank goodness for that, or they would be waking up in the bar the next day, and trust me, that would be way more uncomfortable for them. It had taken Nanaki practically forever to drag them all, one by one, into an empty guest room, which the bar owners so kindly provided, on the house of course. He had a little help for those like Barret, which was too much for him to carry alone. He wasn't exactly the lightest one there.

"…Nanaki…Ow, my head…God. Do you think you could get me an ice pack of something, or a some of those hangover pill things? Ugh, I feel awful…" Cloud muttered, positioning himself into a more comfortable position.

Looking down at his paws, and at Cloud again, Nanaki asked, "Well, if you don't mind me bringing it to you in my mouth…" Imagining the saliva covered objects, Cloud groaned, and shook his head.

"Never mind, I'll get them myself…" _Once I manage to get up, if that's possible. _He placed one arm on the sofa and the other on the wall to steady himself and dragged himself to his feet. He shuffled towards the tiny bathroom on the other side of the room. _God, why must they place the bathrooms so freaking far? _He stumbled in front of the mirror and used his two hands to grip the opposite ends of the sink. He looked into the mirror. He looked terrible. Eye bags, ruffled hair and, oh my God, was that a wrinkle? He frowned. He was getting old. Turning on the sink, he placed his head under the running water. Thank God for big sinks which could fit heads (and hair) of those like Clouds. He struggled to open the medicine cabinet. Hey, when you have two aching arms, an aching neck and a throbbing head, that is in no way an easy task.

Finally, he managed to open it. He peered inside. _Now, let's see… Laxatives, vitamins, diet pills, cough stuff, sleeping pills… Maybe I should take some of those, hmm… What else is here? Diet supplements… Ah! Panadol. _He took out the Panadol and nearly cheered, stopping when he saw the big pink words of… "PANADOL MENSTRUAL? ARGGGGHHHHH!" He screamed and threw the pack of pills into the opposite wall. He breathed in deeply, then exhaled. _Alright, count to ten, count to ten.. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Okay, I'm calm. I'm good. _

"Like _heck_ I'm good! Which stupid place doesn't have a normal Panadol anywhere? I mean, Panadol MENSTRUAL, like, what the hell. Who USES that anyway?" Cloud muttered, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists as he walked around the bathroom. After a few rounds of walking and muttering, he realised that his hangover was… Gone. Yes, add that to the list of cures for hangovers – Get angry, start ranting and pacing around like a deranged maniac. No wonder Sephiroth never had hangovers. Forgetting all his (so-called) troubles, Cloud exited the bathroom, a radiant smile on his face. Nanaki had succeeded in awakening the rest of the team, with help from Cloud's piercing scream just moments ago, although he was a little shaken. Waking them up was a scary experience, particularly a certain ninja and a pilot. If possible, he never wanted to wake them up again – he treasured his life too much to do that. He really wondered how Tifa managed to do it while on the Highwind, but then again, it was Tifa.

Speaking of which, shouldn't they go check up on her? _I wonder whether she succeeded with Vincent… He's a tough one to crack. _Nanaki mused. Besides Cid and Barret, both of which looked increasingly grouchy as the minutes passed by, the rest of the team seemed to be pretty much back to normal. From hung over Yuffie to normal Yuffie – the change was rather drastic. Cait Sith, not really being human, recovered fast as well. As for Cloud, there he was all smiles and sunshine, and pissing the hell out of Cid and Barret.

"Well, good morning everyone!" Cloud grinned, and all but bounced up and down. "Should we all go have some breakfast?" Barret grunted in annoyance of the perkiness of his voice, while Cid just covered his ears and grumbled something along the lines of "let's tie that idiot up and stuff his mouth with tissue". (But of course, he can't possibly have used such a gentle word as "idiot", it has to be something more colourful than that.) Yuffie readily agreed as her stomach was grumbling loudly, and she was currently complaining to a very bored Cait Sith about how hard sofas can be.

"Don't you think we should check up on Tifa to see how yesterday went? We could invite her along as well," Nanaki suggested. Everyone agreed, even Barret, despite his horrible hangover. His concern for Tifa's welfare overruled his pounding head and aching back. Even Cid, muttering curses underneath his breath, was worried for the young martial artist. After all, Vincent was pretty unpredictable, and who knew what could have happened to the poor girl.

After cleaning up a little, they left the bar, thanking the owners for the wonderful drinks and not-so wonderful guest room, and headed towards Seventh Heaven, Tifa's own bar and residence. (Which was located in Nibelheim as well, of course. Perfect place to open a bar after Midgar's destruction.) It wasn't a very long walk from the bar they were at, which was a semi-rip off of Seventh Heaven – they called it the Eighth Wonder. How original. All you need is other bars with names like "Fourth Bridge" or "Ninth Life" or something popping up, and it'll be perfect. And poor Tifa spent more than a week mulling over what she should call her bar.

Cloud whistled cheerfully as Yuffie was going on and on about yet another mundane topic, something about how chocobo feathers could be used to build houses, or something along that lines. Cid was resisting the urge to choke her with his goggles, while Barret, Nanaki and Cait Sith were just pretending to be paying attention to whatever Yuffie was talking about. For a young girl, she certainly could talk a lot, and at such a speed as well. It was simply amazing.

"We're here!" Cloud chirped. He was still in that joyful mood after his hangover miraculously disappeared. They stood there like idiots for a couple of minutes before Cid got annoyed and stalked to the door and pressed the doorbell.

They waited. There was no response. Maybe she didn't hear it the first time? They tried again and again, yet no one came to the door.

"Strange," Nanaki commented. "Maybe she's not at home?" They peered in through the windows and all they saw was darkness. The curtains were drawn, which was very unlike Tifa, as she loved sunshine. If it wasn't obvious enough that she wasn't home, there wasn't a single sound coming from inside. No buzzing of the fans as they turned around, no water running as she did her daily dishes, and no clanking of cups as she cleared them from the tables. Conclusion: Tifa was not at home.

"Where would she be?" Cloud thought aloud.

Yuffie's face turned pale. "Oh no! What if… What if when we left yesterday, Vincent got mad at her and killed her or something! She could be ripped into shreds and thrown down Mt. Nibel, and we'll never see her again… Poor Tifa! And, she was so young, too… And all her materia…" Everyone tuned out as Yuffie went on and on about Tifa's poor lost materia, and how she was never going to have a funeral and how they should go over to the mansion and teach Vinnie a good lesson, among other things.

"Damn, that girl sure can talk a lot of crap. Let's go check on Vampy, maybe they're just talking or something," Cid said, as Yuffie continued her rambling.

"If he ever dared t' lay a hand on her…" Barret clenched his fists, thinking of all the possible bad things Vincent could have done to her.

"Vincent is a decent man. They probably stayed up all night talking, or maybe she just decided to keep him company for a while. Don't worry," Nanaki said, trying to calm the big man down.

"That's true," Cloud said thoughtfully, "Vincent wouldn't do anything. Let's go then!" They all walked off, leaving Yuffie alone, still talking to herself and getting more animated and anxious by the second. It wasn't long before she noticed that she was alone in front of a house, talking to herself and getting very weird glances from passerbys. _Those idiots! They left without me! Without even telling me. Hmph. Maybe I should steal their materia again, that'd show them! _She started devising a very devious plan to get her revenge on her so-called teammates that left her all by herself.

She finally caught up to them after a while. "You guys are…huff…so dead…" She said between breaths, staring daggers at her teammates. "How…huff…could you leave me…huff…there all by myself? A girl…huff…like me could be in danger! You all…huff…know how many perverts there are… huff…here!" She finished, all red faced and panting. Seeing her in that state was highly amusing, and they all burst out laughing.

"Not so fit anymore, huh, Princess?" Cait Sith poked her between the ribs, earning a very harsh glare from the breathless ninja, which just made him laugh even harder.

"Hey, cut it out you two! We have to go see if Tifa's alright, remember?" Cloud sighed and pushed his hand through his hair as best as he could. His hair was practically hardened due to the massive amount of hair products he rubbed onto it. They continued on, with Yuffie giving each member an occasional glare if they even so much as looked at her. She wasn't going to forgive them THAT easily.

The mansion didn't look so creepy in the daytime. In fact, without the overgrown garden and weeds, it looked almost… Livable. Maybe get rid of the rusty gates and give the mansion a paint-over, it would look as good as new, or even better. No one had ever bothered to try and fix it up, though. Probably because of the rumours that it was haunted, which was a whole load of rubbish, of course. Vincent preferred it this way. Less annoying people coming in, more alone time for himself.

The group found themselves standing in front of said rusty gate. No sounds were coming from the mansion, but Vincent was a very silent creature. Carefully, they opened the gate, trying to make as little noise as possible. If Vincent really was the crazed murderer Yuffie had ranted about earlier on, they didn't want to take any chances. Slowly, they sneaked up to the door as quietly as they could. So they had to gag Yuffie and tie Cait Sith onto Nanaki, but that was only so that they'll stay quiet, really.

Cloud tried the door. It was unlocked, just as they left it yesterday. Yuffie's eyes widened as she started to say something, but only succeeding in making "mmfgh!" noises, courtesy of the gag they placed around her mouth. Barret quickly clamped his hand over her mouth, earning a very hard glare from the young girl. Thank God her hands were still free and she used one of them to pinch Barret's arm. It didn't really hurt much, but it still hurt nonetheless, and Barret had to clench his other fist to keep himself from yelping. (He clenched it so tight that after this whole ordeal was over, he still had very deep fingernail markings in his skin. Poor guy. He should cut his nails more often.)

Cloud gave each of them a warning glare, something he was very good at, being the guy that he is. He stepped into the house carefully, expecting a crazy Vincent to jump out of the shadows and start attacking them or something. Vincent, normally, was scary. Crazy Vincent? Oh boy. No one wanted to know, really. He waited. There was only silence and nothing else. Good, they were safe for now. He motioned for the others to come in, silently. Yuffie was still giving Barret a hard time, so he just flung her over his shoulders carelessly, which earned him two moderately hard punches on his back. He was losing his patience now, and when Barret gets mad, he REALLY gets mad.

And there was poor Cid who was denied of any cigarettes so as not to attract attention to themselves. He was annoyed – no, more than just "annoyed" - and his hands were twitching for a cigarette. _Goddamn it, first that idiot Nanaki wakes me up when I'm having that orgy dream and then Mr. Smiles and Sunshine here gets us all to come all the way here, I still have that freaking headache and God, now I can't even have a single fucking cigarette. They owe me one. A big one. _He fumed as they walked around, searching all the rooms in the mansion.

Nothing. There was nothing. No traces of human life anywhere. Everything was pretty much untouched and left as they were the first time they entered this place. You would have expected Vincent to at least do some cleaning or something. Well, that left only one place – the basement. Which was, in Yuffie's mind, the best place for anyone to hide a dead body – namely Tifas. She had so far thought of one hundred and twenty three million, seven hundred and eight ways for Vincent to kill Tifa. She really had a far too vivid imagination.

They all trooped towards the secret door (which wasn't much of a secret now. They knew of it, Vincent and Tifa knew of it, Sephiroth knew of it, and so did Hojo and the Turks, plus a couple of other kids from the neighbourhood.) and made their way down the stairs, still trying to make as little noise as possible. It wasn't long before they reached the coffin room.

"On three?" Cloud mouthed. The others nodded. He held up his fingers, one… two… three! They ran forward and…

"Shit, Cloud, the bloody door was already open!" Cid hissed, rubbing his aching shoulder, which had gotten worse no thanks to that whole "banging down the (already open) door" escapade.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Cloud muttered, turning his head. An excited muffle could be heard coming out of Yuffie's mouth as she stood near the coffin where they had found Vincent. She turned to the rest of the group, eyes widened, and pointed inside. They all stepped forward and was pleasantly (well, not for some) surprised.

There was a peaceful Vincent and Tifa in the coffin, sleeping comfortably (or so they thought). Tifa had one arm draped over the gunman and was using his head as a pillow. Vincent was slightly turned to the left, but his right arm had snaked a little under Tifa's waist, and he was smiling. Slightly, but it was still a smile. They looked utterly contented. No one in the group had ever seen Vincent sleep that peacefully. The others had seen him sleep before, and it was nothing near this. He always had a guarded expression on his face, and his hand was always at his waist, ready to take out his gun and shoot if anything were to come near. If it wasn't guarded, it would be full of pain and anguish, as he was forever plagued by his nightmares. But here he was, all peaceful and smiling, like he had no care in the world.

By this time, Yuffie had managed to untie the gag around her mouth (and was silently scolding herself for being so dumb, as she had not realised until now that she could actually untie it as her hands were free) and, thoughts about Vincent murdering Tifa forgotten, started bouncing about happily and chattered about how she could get Tifa and Vinnie together as they looked, aww, oh-so-cute together!

Cid, not able to resist the urge any longer, took out a cigarette and started puffing. Cloud and Barret was still in shock, because that was Tifa in bed (well, in coffin) with, of all the people in the world, Vincent! Nanaki was just looking at them, slight amusement in his eyes. He always knew that Vincent had a soft spot for Tifa. Maybe he would help Yuffie in her matchmaking plans, after all, they DID look adorable together. The whole similar features thing, you know. Both had red eyes (except Tifa's was leaning towards brown), that long silky hair (though Vincent's was blacker), the pale skin (Vincent was slightly paler) and they were both tall for their respective genders. As for Cait Sith, he wasn't really doing anything, but he certainly was surprised at the sight.

And it was just at this moment that the two in the coffin decided to awaken.

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**Authors note: **So how was this chapter? Actually, I was just going to leave it as a one shot, but I just decided to continue it out of sheer boredom. I hope it was alright.. . Thank you to those who reviewed the last time, and I hope my story-telling isn't too bland this time. I always have a problem with that, I feel. I'll try and update soon! (I just don't know how I'm ever going to get them together. For Vincent and Tifa to get together just like _that_ would be way too unrealistic.) Well, please review! I like comments and would appreciate it greatly. :) 


	3. Chapter 3

**It's My Coffin Chapter 3  
**

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And it was just at this moment that the two in the coffin decided to awaken.

Or more precisely, Vincent decided to wake up first, as usual. He prided himself on always being the one that needed the least sleep and always woke up the first. The poor guy had no idea that the entire AVALANCHE (excluding Tifa Lockhart, who was still snoring away) had already woken and even paid him a visit while he and Tifa were sleeping. But, of course, he wouldn't know that, as Nanaki had noticed him stirring and, knowing that Vincent was not really a morning person, had escaped with the rest of the team into the Library next door, where they held their breath while Vincent awoke.

They knew that Vincent would not be happy that they sneaked into his house, rummaged through his personal things and banged down his (already open) door. Thus, they turned and fled (as quietly and quickly as possible) and since running up the staircase will surely make a lot of noise, they decided to creep into the library and stay there for a while. Then when all was alright, they could go back to the coffin room and pretend that they just arrived and was thinking of paying him a friendly visit. What a brilliant plan!

So there they were, waiting. Yuffie being the ever impatient and can't-sit-still one, decided to go look at the books on the shelves while the rest just sat around. Cid was sprawled over the rickety old table. Apparently his headache had not disappeared yet; and neither had his need for cigarettes, as he was already on his 45th one. Everyone else just lazed around the library, trying to make as little noise as possible. With luck, Vincent will not notice them… yet.

Back in the coffin room, Vincent was shaking off his sleepiness when he felt movement next to him. He turned his head as much as he could to look to his right, and what he saw was absolutely breathtaking. There was Tifa Lockhart with the most angelic expression that he had ever seen. He hadn't seen many women sleeping, actually, so it isn't much of a surprise, but that's not the point. He had always known her to be good looking. Anyone would know that; you had to be blind not to notice. It was at that moment though, with her eyelashes fluttering and her mouth slightly parted as she breathed in and out, with her hair all rumpled and tangled in his, that he realised that she was more than just _good looking_.

In fact, she was…

"Beautiful…"

Oh great, he didn't just say that out loud, did he? He sighed and turned his head away, trying to shake off all thoughts of the lovely woman next to him. It wasn't like him to be so captivated by beauty. Looks alone did not really matter to him.

"…what…is…beautiful..?" He heard a soft voice next to him, followed by a huge yawn and then a sigh. He stiffened. She had heard him. He slowly turned to face the person next to him and suppressed a smile. She looked absolutely adorable as she blinked rapidly and shook her head to shake off the morning sleepiness. Vincent cringed inwardly. _Since when did I start saying people were "adorable"? I'm going nuts.  
_

Realising that he had left her question unanswered, he muttered a soft "It was nothing" and attempted to get up from their position. Tifa had long since removed her arm from his waist (and he wouldn't admit it, but he missed the warmth it gave him) and had shifted a little more to her side to let Vincent get up. However, try as he might, he just couldn't get up. It was just too cramp. He frowned slightly in irritation.

"Maybe I should try to get up first…" She suggested as she tried to get out, dangerously rocking the coffin as she leaned towards the right. In a mad attempt to regain balance, she grabbed onto the nearest thing she could reach – Vincent's arm. She felt him go stiff under her touch and released it quickly, and looked up into his face to apologize for that. With his intense red eyes staring into hers, she just couldn't look away. His collar had come a little undone during his sleep and for the first time, Tifa saw Vincent's face as a whole, and she was captivated. He had to be the most beautiful looking creature she had ever seen.

She felt him fidget a little under her gaze and she realised how uncomfortable he was making him feel. She quickly looked away, a light blush forming on her cheeks. "Sorry about that, Vincent," She said softly.

Unfortunately, while trying to get out of the coffin and failing badly, she had, in fact, made them more stuck than before. They could hardly even move due to the lack of space. (The coffin, you do realise, was made for one and not two persons) But, though neither would admit it, it _was_ rather comfortable. Vincent, the ever conservative one, was feeling a little nervous being in such close proximity with a woman. Tifa's entire body was squeezed next to his. Any closer and it would be indecent, not like it wasn't already. He tried not to think about how well her body fitted into his, about how soft her silky strands of her were, or about the lovely scent coming out from them. Nope, Vincent wasn't thinking about that at all.

Tifa, on the other hand, was also feeling embarrassed at how close she was to Vincent at the moment. She could feel his breath on the top of her head and his tense muscles, obviously due to the position they were in. In a last attempt to sit up, she tried to dislodge her arm from the side, but it was all in vain. She let out a long sigh.

"I suppose we're stuck."

Vincent grunted in response. _Like that wasn't obvious enough._ He thought a little irritably. Their position was making him think of rather unclean things, and it wasn't helping that the person next to him was so beautiful, or had such a… _Okay, Valentine, stop thinking about it already. You're starting to sound like Cid.  
_

The tension in the air was rather suffocating, and Tifa tried to lighten the mood a little by making small talk. I mean, what's a girl to do when she's stuck in a position like that? Why, act normal of course. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, a loud 'THUMP!' was heard, coming from another room nearby. Vincent's eyes narrowed. There were intruders, and here he was stuck in a coffin with a woman.

_Wonderful_.

* * *

**A/N:** Awful, wasn't it? I'm sorry for such a horrible chapter! I hope you don't find it too terrible, anyway, and please review! I'll love to hear your thoughts and comments. I apologise if they aren't in character. Again, please read and review! I will try and update soon. 


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Goddammit, why don't you just knock the fuckin' shelf down while you're at it, asshole?"

"Well, let's see _you_ trying to get this heavy book down, old man," Yuffie muttered as she stood up, dusting her shorts. She had been trying to get down a particularly interesting (but heavy) book about materia, ending up toppling over and landing on her (very lovely, she would say) behind. It's not _her_ fault the book was too high up. Blame the person who put it there in the first place. Yuffie huffed as she walked back to where everyone was, not noticing at all the glare Cid was currently giving to her.

"Who are you calling 'old man', brat?" A vein threatened to pop out of his head as he stood over her, arms on his hips. If there was one thing Cid hated, it was being called that. _Fucking kids, what do they know?_

"BRAT! Say that _one more time_ and I swear I'll.."

Rolling his eyes, Cloud stood up. Those two were impossible. Arguments between them could last for days, even weeks. They could argue over anything. They always seemed to disagree about everything. If Yuffie said black, Cid would say white, if she said yes, he would say no. There wasn't a thing they had in common besides their hot tempers. Cloud still remembered fondly (okay, maybe not so much _fondly_) the time when they visited a town and Cid and Yuffie were, as usual, at loggerheads with one another. They had entered an inn, arguing over something very mundane (he couldn't really recall, but he thought it was something to do with the clouds), just to be shut up by a little old lady and her friend. If he remembered right, "just like my dear Marty and I, those two" were the exact words used by that old woman. That shut them up for quite a while. The whole of AVALANCHE would never forget those lovely 5 hours, free from arguments of any sort.

Right now, however, it seemed like the pair had forgotten that old lady's comment once again. Before Cloud had the chance to open his mouth to speak (he had been too lost in his thoughts), Barret had already said what Cloud meant to tell the two.

"Shut up, both of ya," the gruff, deep voice of Barret echoed through the library. Yuffie stuck her tongue out at Cid, only to be countered by Cid's middle finger. A loud 'hmph' was heard, followed by a hiss of 'old man'. Cid was about to pounce on the poor girl once again, but was stopped by Barret's glare.

"Hey, guys, do you suppose Vincent knows we're here?"

"Probably... Cloud, what should be our next course of action?"

Cloud thought about this for a bit. Should they go back to check on the two? Vincent was certain to know that someone is in his mansion after Yuffie's little accident, so there wasn't any point hiding, was there? He would just find them sooner or later... Then again, it was TIFA in the coffin with VINCENT, looking very, very comfortable indeed... Just this thought caused Cloud to feel a little.. something. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't like it. Wasn't Tifa supposed to be there for him always and forever? What was she doing in the coffin with another man? Granted, it WAS Vincent, but it was still another man...

...Wait a minute. Was Cloud feeling _betrayed_?

Cloud sighed. Go back, don't go back, go back, don't go back.. He felt another headache coming along. All this decision making and emotional stress was too much for his pretty blonde head. He couldn't take it anymore. Heck, he'll just say the first thing that comes to mind and he'd deal with it later. Now he just wanted to get this over and done with, go home, take some Panadol and sleep.

"We'll go back," he said, turning towards the exit of the library, holding his head in his hands. He was feeling absolutely miserable now. _The pain, the paiiin... Damn hangovers, headaches and women._

**However, in another part of the mansion...**_  
_

Nervous laughter filled the room. Tifa had been trying to lighten up the mood with small talk and silly jokes about being stuck in coffins. Unbelievable what the mind thinks of when one is in such.. precarious positions. She'd been trying her best to relax in the coffin but Vincent wasn't making it any easier, being all tense and such.

The poor girl had absolutely no idea what effect she was having on the man.

Just because he had been stuck in a coffin for 30 years didn't make him any less human, whatever he thought. Right now, he was having a hard time trying to control himself, especially in the nether regions. Why, oh, why did he have to be stuck with _her_ of all people? He certainly hoped she didn't notice the sudden bulge down below. Besides, there were more important things at hand. The intruders for one thing. _That's right, Valentine. Stop thinking about her ass and concentrate!_ _Yes, yes... Intruders.. Mmm, that's so- ah, stop it. Intruders! There are intruders... Oh, but she has lovely eyes and her sme- Stop it, stop it.. God. Control yourself. _

"...Tifa."

She stopped talking and looked up, as best as she could, at Vincent.

"We have a situation here. There are, ah," _Valentine, this is no time to be distracted._ "That is, there are intruders. Perhaps we should try and find a way to dislodge ourselves from this coffin. If they were to be fiends, we would be at a disadvantage."

"That's true," she replied thoughtfully, a delightful pout appearing on her face, "but wasn't that what caused this whole mess in the first place? I mean, we have to think of another way of getting ourselves out of here. Using force obviously didn't help much..."

The two lay in silence for a moment. Tifa, thinking about how to get themselves out of this situation and Vincent, going between that and thinking about his lovely bedmate. It _had_ been long since he shared a bed (if you could consider this one) with a member of the opposite sex. Surely he was allowed a few discrepancies.

Unfortunately, their thinking was disrupted by the sounds of footsteps coming nearer and nearer to the door. The pair looked up, eyes focussed on the doorway. Their heartbeat quickened as the sounds got louder and louder. They were helpless. All they could do now was lie in the coffin, motionless, hoping that whatever creature it was wouldn't notice the two bodies in the coffin... Tifa shut her eyes tight. Hopefully the intruders will just walk past this room without noticing them. She knew it was a little impossible considering how the coffin was right in the middle of the room, facing the doorway which was, coincedentally, wide open.

_Dear God, help us please..._

The footsteps stopped and Tifa caught her breath. She gasped when she felt something touch her hand before realising that Vincent had grabbed ahold of it, probably to provide some comfort and support. She thanked him silently. _I'm ready for this._

"GOOD MORNING, LOVEBIRDS!"

Tifa opened her eyes wide. That voice.. You mean.. "Yuffie?"

_A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update this! I wasn't in the mood for updating and I don't really like this story very much. It's quite silly in my opinion. Well, reviews would be nice! ;) Thanks for reading! Do bear with the horrible plot and writing. I think there's only one or two chapters left. Probably one, just to end things off. Maybe an epilogue too, but don't get your hopes up!_


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